I brought myself up into believing western cultures are always believably convincing and copied them blindly. These issues have in several moments questioned my integrity as a Malay Muslim, which are usually shaken by these blind beliefs. These questions were often being shoved aside by our closest of people OR you will be considered as an abnormal person if you raise these issues which most people considered them as petty questions OR they will label you as a fanatic Muslim.
Our family, the 3 of us, practiced open concept thinking, we allow questions to be asked when we practiced certain strange things, for example rules of the house and at the same time we hope our questions will be answered if we encounter or experience strange practices by other people. The motive is simple, for our growing up son to be able to know the reasons on why he can or cannot do or practice certain things. We do not want him to follow blindly what other influential people are practicing; importantly we didn’t want him to do things without knowing the reasons why, even though what he might be doing is a good deed. We do not want him to believe that what his parents do are always right, we want him to question us of our intentions, and so he will be able to understand why he must or must not do certain things.
By now, most of you must have been trying to foresee where I am getting at for this posting. Yesterday was the day it have been 31 years on the Gregorian calendar that I was brought into this world via my mother’s womb. And almost for the pass 29 years, I was made to believe that every year on this date was supposed to be the happiest days of my life.
When my son was brought into this world, I began to question myself. Should I let this western culture of celebrating the DATE of BIRTH into my new family OR should I discard it totally knowing there won’t be any harm in not celebrating it, OR we can still commemorate DATE of BIRTHs by injecting new ways and ideologies to his young and fresh mind instead of the traditional , cakes, candles, boring song, party hats and gifts?
Our family, the 3 of us, practiced open concept thinking, we allow questions to be asked when we practiced certain strange things, for example rules of the house and at the same time we hope our questions will be answered if we encounter or experience strange practices by other people. The motive is simple, for our growing up son to be able to know the reasons on why he can or cannot do or practice certain things. We do not want him to follow blindly what other influential people are practicing; importantly we didn’t want him to do things without knowing the reasons why, even though what he might be doing is a good deed. We do not want him to believe that what his parents do are always right, we want him to question us of our intentions, and so he will be able to understand why he must or must not do certain things.
By now, most of you must have been trying to foresee where I am getting at for this posting. Yesterday was the day it have been 31 years on the Gregorian calendar that I was brought into this world via my mother’s womb. And almost for the pass 29 years, I was made to believe that every year on this date was supposed to be the happiest days of my life.
When my son was brought into this world, I began to question myself. Should I let this western culture of celebrating the DATE of BIRTH into my new family OR should I discard it totally knowing there won’t be any harm in not celebrating it, OR we can still commemorate DATE of BIRTHs by injecting new ways and ideologies to his young and fresh mind instead of the traditional , cakes, candles, boring song, party hats and gifts?
When come to this, Omar has always been supportive in family management issues and has always played a part in it. He will allow me to decide what we deem best for Aaqil and us, without conflicting with our religion’s beliefs. He does not believe in external intervention when come to raising Aaqil. He believes we can decide for our own family’s GOD given fate. In fact, he was the one who suggested that we should hands-on with Aaqil ourselves since he was 1-minute old so that we could get rid of some traditional believes that were most of the time conflicting with the religion and at the same time gain some experiences with the newborn. Thank GOD, even though at first I thought his ideas were crazy knowing that we have no experiences with infants, but if we didn’t do that, then we will not have the chance to accumulate these experiences ourselves with our own baby. Though, words do get around saying that why was I as a graduate had chosen to nurture my own baby rather then make money for myself by getting into employment? OR why didn’t we just leave these tasks to grandmothers or maids while we enjoy ourselves and make more money? We did ignore these 2 most popular questions and we didn’t regret the path we took. With additional self-researches and advises from those more experienced, GOD showed us the way and our sustenance for our simple-lifed family is enough to nurture Aaqil up. With some practical difficulties, of course, but we managed to pull through.
Back to the topic, Omar and I used to sit and reflect the things that we have blindly followed instead of questioning the motives and intentions. The things that we have done just because our parents were doing and believing in them, and we again, blindly followed just because we didn’t want to hurt their feelings. And some things from the West that we choose to follow as the Westerners have been labeled more superior from us, again without questioning the motives? We admit, Omar and I can’t be too perfect because we aren’t perfect, and the road to perfection is practically unachievable, but working towards it is a pleasure.
The last interesting issue that we brought up was from Omar’s dad himself. When Aaqil suffered a mild flu last week, he believes that the ‘tukar bulan’ & ‘tukar tahun’ is in progress. My question is, is this believe Islamic or not? If it is an Islamic tradition, why is the ‘bulan’ & ‘tahun’ based on the Gregorian calendar and not based on the Islamic calendar? Our verdict? Aaqil got the flu because we exposed him to the rain for too long, so it was our mistake and not the ‘bulan’ or the ‘tahun’. If it wasn't our mistake, then it's just time for Aaqil’s immune system to fight the flu so his bodily defense is ready to fight the next one. If neither, then GOD knows best, our task is to recover him fast rather then bringing in this ‘new’ belief into Aaqil’s and our minds.
Try this, sit among yourselves and openly ask one another the things which we always practice and do without questioning the motives. I bet there are a plenty which we just do not want to admit or face the issues…
GOD knows best… not me… not Omar…
3 comments:
tanya soalan.. hahaha.. adik-adik aku sampai kena cekup mulut la sebab tanya banyak sangat soalan...selalunya the right question at the wrong time heheh, susah hati parents aku kalau bawak berjalan.
btw software yg aku guna GIMP 2.
tq syaf..nak try gak software too...oiii belum jumpa kiwi sorang ker???
syaf 'beachy' (:P)..tu tak dapat2 lagi sekoq kiwi ... jgn mara aa syaf..nnt aku tulis surat kat mak aku soh dia doa hang dapat jodoh masa dia p umrah nnt
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