Cycling with Aaqil/Children

"Just because I have a kid now, I have to give up cycling?" Omar once questioned himself loud enough for me to hear without the need to eavesdrop. Then he gave me that look again and said to me, "The mother needs a bike! It's going to be a family activity together!" That was how we started.

Omar was an avid cyclist. He made several trips to Malaysia on his bike or even brought along his bike to Indonesia for island-hopping activities. All that happened when me and Aaqil wasn't in his picture yet. And now he has to mild himself down towards non-vigorous bicycle rides knowing he is going to tow his then 21-month-old kid-son on his KONA (thats a huge sacrifice I think) and a wife who thinks that a bicycle is only used for playing at the courtyard or the minor-road side in front of my house in Malaysia. It didn't even cross my mind that I will use a bicycle as a mean of transport that can take us to places. The hunt started with my bike followed by the rear child seat for Aaqil. My bike was an easy find and I have started shifting the derailluers (gears) ever since. Omar was a little particular with the safety aspects of the child carrier but finally we found one financially suitable without sacrificing safety.

Now I realise that cycling is not only a sporty activity. It is also an emotionally and even spiritually healthy activity for the whole family as well. We have cycled to semi-remote places not accessible by public transports and perhaps too great a distant for pedestrians on foot too. Safety? Yes, we have been questioned or being passed remarks by those overly concerned about the safety of Aaqil on a bike. As usual, I am just going to let these people ponder on these topics themselves so I can stick to my bicycling topic.

Not to go harsh on Aaqil, we will take breaks every 30 minutes for him to stretch himself out. Surprisingly, Aaqil is the happiest soul when comes to family cycling. We will always coincide cycling with several other non-cycling activities like picnics, educational visits or just resting while letting him explore on his own foot. Actually, children do make good cycling companions because they are adaptable.

Let me tell you what I've learnt so far at this new activity of mine, plus some self researches from other experts hehe...

1) When you take a child on a ride, make certain you are familiar with the bike route. If you get lost or the route is longer than expected, your child may suffer not only from a diminished experience, but also in more serious ways, such as dehydration or exposure.

2) Children tire quickly in the afternoon. Take advantage of their energy in the morning and start your ride early.

3) Plan on taking a lot of short breaks. Also allow time to stop, get off the bike and explore.

4) Always have water readily available for your child. This is easy if children are in a trailer or on their own bike, but be mindful of a child in a child carrier. Stop often so he or she can drink.

5) A well-timed snack can defuse a squabble or sour temper. Kids tend to misbehave more when they're tired, hungry or thirsty.

6) Carry a Tool Kit and know how to use it.

7) Carry a Small First-Aid Kit. Generally, you'll only need a few bandages, some triple antibiotic cream and encouraging words to soothe a small case of road rash.

8) Make It Fun. Choose an interesting route that goes by parks, rivers, views, or—surprise!—a playground. Most children are interested in what they can see along the route rather than what's at the end of the road or trail.

9) Invite Playmates. Cycling is always more fun when shared. If your child has a friend who is at the same competency on the bike, bring them along.


The most important thing to remember when cycling with children is to avoid overdoing it. You can still cover a lot of miles—it's just going to take longer. Do it as a family, it's fun. Start early, it's very beneficial for your kid. My experiences will be different if I will just buy him a bike later on and let him play on his own without any family participation.

Believers believe beliefs

I brought myself up into believing western cultures are always believably convincing and copied them blindly. These issues have in several moments questioned my integrity as a Malay Muslim, which are usually shaken by these blind beliefs. These questions were often being shoved aside by our closest of people OR you will be considered as an abnormal person if you raise these issues which most people considered them as petty questions OR they will label you as a fanatic Muslim.

Our family, the 3 of us, practiced open concept thinking, we allow questions to be asked when we practiced certain strange things, for example rules of the house and at the same time we hope our questions will be answered if we encounter or experience strange practices by other people. The motive is simple, for our growing up son to be able to know the reasons on why he can or cannot do or practice certain things. We do not want him to follow blindly what other influential people are practicing; importantly we didn’t want him to do things without knowing the reasons why, even though what he might be doing is a good deed. We do not want him to believe that what his parents do are always right, we want him to question us of our intentions, and so he will be able to understand why he must or must not do certain things.

By now, most of you must have been trying to foresee where I am getting at for this posting. Yesterday was the day it have been 31 years on the Gregorian calendar that I was brought into this world via my mother’s womb. And almost for the pass 29 years, I was made to believe that every year on this date was supposed to be the happiest days of my life.

When my son was brought into this world, I began to question myself. Should I let this western culture of celebrating the DATE of BIRTH into my new family OR should I discard it totally knowing there won’t be any harm in not celebrating it, OR we can still commemorate DATE of BIRTHs by injecting new ways and ideologies to his young and fresh mind instead of the traditional , cakes, candles, boring song, party hats and gifts?

When come to this, Omar has always been supportive in family management issues and has always played a part in it. He will allow me to decide what we deem best for Aaqil and us, without conflicting with our religion’s beliefs. He does not believe in external intervention when come to raising Aaqil. He believes we can decide for our own family’s GOD given fate. In fact, he was the one who suggested that we should hands-on with Aaqil ourselves since he was 1-minute old so that we could get rid of some traditional believes that were most of the time conflicting with the religion and at the same time gain some experiences with the newborn. Thank GOD, even though at first I thought his ideas were crazy knowing that we have no experiences with infants, but if we didn’t do that, then we will not have the chance to accumulate these experiences ourselves with our own baby. Though, words do get around saying that why was I as a graduate had chosen to nurture my own baby rather then make money for myself by getting into employment? OR why didn’t we just leave these tasks to grandmothers or maids while we enjoy ourselves and make more money? We did ignore these 2 most popular questions and we didn’t regret the path we took. With additional self-researches and advises from those more experienced, GOD showed us the way and our sustenance for our simple-lifed family is enough to nurture Aaqil up. With some practical difficulties, of course, but we managed to pull through.

Back to the topic, Omar and I used to sit and reflect the things that we have blindly followed instead of questioning the motives and intentions. The things that we have done just because our parents were doing and believing in them, and we again, blindly followed just because we didn’t want to hurt their feelings. And some things from the West that we choose to follow as the Westerners have been labeled more superior from us, again without questioning the motives? We admit, Omar and I can’t be too perfect because we aren’t perfect, and the road to perfection is practically unachievable, but working towards it is a pleasure.

The last interesting issue that we brought up was from Omar’s dad himself. When Aaqil suffered a mild flu last week, he believes that the ‘tukar bulan’ & ‘tukar tahun’ is in progress. My question is, is this believe Islamic or not? If it is an Islamic tradition, why is the ‘bulan’ & ‘tahun’ based on the Gregorian calendar and not based on the Islamic calendar? Our verdict? Aaqil got the flu because we exposed him to the rain for too long, so it was our mistake and not the ‘bulan’ or the ‘tahun’. If it wasn't our mistake, then it's just time for Aaqil’s immune system to fight the flu so his bodily defense is ready to fight the next one. If neither, then GOD knows best, our task is to recover him fast rather then bringing in this ‘new’ belief into Aaqil’s and our minds.

Try this, sit among yourselves and openly ask one another the things which we always practice and do without questioning the motives. I bet there are a plenty which we just do not want to admit or face the issues…

GOD knows best… not me… not Omar…

Saying the right things at the wrong time?

"Ani." Omar called my name when I was engrossed reading a book.
"Yes!" I replied. "But whatever it is don't touch me!" That was my second reminder to him as I was having my ablution on waiting for Asar prayers.
With his puzzled looking face, he looked me straight in the eye for a moment, and when he got back to his senses, he replied, "I've forgotten what I was supposed to say."

I might have missed what he wanted to say, maybe he will if he remembers again, which I bet he will, but I have asked him again several times today but he still couldn't recall what he's supposed to say to me. With that monotonous tone of his, usually he wants to tell me something good or he is wanting me to do him a favour.

Hmmmm, maybe he wants to say he loves me??? Trust me, not in a million years, before and after. He has never uttered those words to me, again, before and after. He is capable of saying the nicest of fabricated words but never "I love you". At the same time, he is also capable of saying the harshest in the most gentle way.

His belief of 'love' is too big a word for human use that humans themselves couldn't give a proper definition for that word, most of the time caused a confusion on my intuition. Most of his facts are true. I am not going through that topic this time round as most of my dear readers will have an emotional conflict with his statements and will later repercussioned to me. But one thing for sure, he believes his actions are always louder than his words, so I have accepted that his actions so far has proofed that he loves me... heh heh.

Ok, back to the topic header. He, at one time, has frequently reminded me to not 'saying the right things at the wrong time'. I remembered at one of our many discussions on a meal when he said, "Ani, you are so capable of saying the right things at the wrong time." Of course at that particular point of time, my left and right cortex were contemplating on what he actually meant. But somehow or rather I begin to understand what it means... literally.

So, where will this topic lead to? Well, it could be meaningless if you don't look beyond its meaning. To me, what I've learnt, saying the right things are not always appropriate if the timing is bad. Its either you wouldn't get your message across or worst it will hurt someone. But for my case, I did make my husband forget what he's supposed to say.

My Orchard Road Outing...

Last Monday, I had a chance to meet one of my cyber-friend cum asiaparents group member, Haznita and her wonderful son, Danial Wan. Since I have been participating in this group, I have gathered some good knowledges about parenting especially the breastfeeding topic. I met Haznita inside here and since there are not many Malays around, I emailed her and she responded. She is an ex-engineer who gave up her career and big salary to look after his son. For more stories do visit Haznita's website.

As usual, I always enjoy outing and meeting new friends. After a quick breakfast at McDonald's Forum Galleria, we proceeded to Toys 'R' Us. Both kids had so much fun till Aaqil refused to leave. Haznita was looking for Lego Duplo for her son. A little bit indecisive about the price, we both decided to look up at Legoland Takashimaya which is 10 minutes walk from Forum's. Danial was lucky since Haznita has decided to get 1 box of Duplo basic and 1Duplo Aeroplane. I wanted to buy also but Aaqil just got his Thomas train from his uncle (my brother) currently attached in London. So until he got bored with the train, I guess I hold on first. I still had some memories of playing Lego when I was small. But girls will always be girls. I remembered I made bricks into a house and arrange the Lego plants and small flowers hehe. But till now Lego is still an expensive toy but surely it lasts long. So it is worth it to buy plus the kids can learn to be creative. Both of us shared mother's stories and tried to motivate each other to be strong on being SAHM.

I then reached home merely after Asar and we proceed to Lolo and Lola's house (thats in Filipino for grandpa and grandma). Aaqil had a bit of silver fish porridge and I had a bit of rice with fish head curry for an early dinner. Went back before Maghrib. I could not sleep that night knowing that Omar would be home the next day. I fell asleep around 1am finally, wondering how Omar would look like after a month. Yes, he did lose weight and looked more "handsome to me lah" than before hahahah...... lack of food? Nah, he managed to do some work out before coming home... ;-)

Family Cycling Time..


Aaqil was the most excited and still is after Omar came back. He always clings to his dad. Yesterday we went cycling together to eat prata (roti canai) ala Jalan Kayu in Sim's Drive early in the morning. The prata was nice and sweet and crispy, reminded me of one shop in Puchong. Singapore and Malaysia had different taste of prata and of course Malaysia's version is nicer. But this one has a unique taste though...

A month without U...

I thought at first, I was suffering from depression but I considered it mild. Last week, I had been having bad dreams, anxious feelings, crying for no apparent reason and all symtoms of depression. BUT, after i menstruated, all gone. Gone the days when I was nauseaus, sweat, generally unwell, sad and lazy for no reason. Menstruation itself is a complex process that involving hormones, body and brain.

I think I know why. I should not blame my period. It has been my best friend for almost 20 years. It is because of Aaqil's father not around leh.....Ha Ha..Anyway, he will be back in less than 24 hours woohooo...and what shall I cook on the day he comes home? "kari ikan bawal? Asam pedas? Nasi Lemak ?? Or just "masak minah" *evil grins*

I had taken some "medications" to cure my problems and it worked (Praise to Allah). Well, I have to admit I hate to see a doctor. Normally, if any of us sick, I will search on internet on the info abt the symtoms, home remedy and prescription on the sickness. So when I see the doctor, normally they will repeat what I read on internet:) It is true!!! I will waste money and my time. I have a great book that I read more than 10 times already, The book title is " How to raise a healthy child in spite of doctors" By Dr Robert S Mendelsohn.
Oh ya back to my medication on my "depression", I just browse all the nice photos when we were honey-mooning together in NZ and Australia. Sure, it has brought the happy memory back. Happy person where got sick one? Oh ya besides photos, I went swimming with Aaqil, did a few laps while my MIL 'jaga her cucu'. Exercise does bring the stress level down. I actually did not take any pain killer for my headache and nausea, but I did eat some briyani kambing after being forced by my in laws. Surprisingly, I healed!!! ha ha..

Aaqil was 3 months in my tummy!!! No wonder he likes cows and sheeps..